Breakups are hard, especially when you have a genuine connection with a guy/girl and he/she’s become more than just your boyfriend/girlfriend, they’re your best friend, your soul-mate. They’ve been there for you for some of the most difficult moments in your life and they have been the one you turn to when you need advice or a shoulder to cry on, he/she knows you better than you know yourself. So what happens when the relationship ends? Do you simply say goodbye and part ways? Or do you try to remain friends? This is an age-old question and no one seems to agree. I honestly think that this is due to the fact that every relationship is different and there are varying factors that come into play when trying to decide if it’s best to cut all ties or stay in each other’s lives.
Was the breakup a mutual decision? Are there still hard feelings? Are there unresolved issues? How serious were you two? This as well as many other factors come into play when deciding if staying friends with your ex is even a remote possibility.
A lot of exes SAY they want to stay friends, but do really they mean it? Or are they just trying to let you down easier? And maybe they DO mean it and they honestly try but once one of you starts dating someone else, the friendship ends.
For me, personally, this has been the case. But honestly right now I can say that my most recent ex is the best friend I have ever had. Our relationship was brief but intense and we broke up for reasons beyond our control and it took me time to adjust because during that time, he treated me better than ANY of my past boyfriends and I had never connected with anyone on the same level that I did with him.
I’m not saying it’s been easy. I’ve struggled with many different emotions, but we are both extremely open and honest with each other, and always have been. He has proved above and beyond that he always will be there for me. It’s been hard for me as I have been hurt so many times in the past that, but he has taught me that it’s okay to trust and more importantly, to love again. I had put up walls and he tore them down. He can read me like a book and I can talk to him about anything. We still hang out at least once a week and spend hours just sitting and talking. I’d say he’s the brother I never had, but it goes deeper than that. He is definitely the most important man in my life at the moment. Neither one of us is seeing anyone currently and I would like to say I don’t think that will change things since we both promised that if our significant other can’t handle us being friends, this would be a deal-breaker, but only time will tell.
So I guess it’s different for everyone. I don’t stay in touch with any of my other ex-boyfriends. And quite frankly, I don’t want to. I think it depends on the level of maturity of both parties and how strong of a bond they share. Our dating relationship was brief but the connection was instant and I think we have both agreed that what we share is rare and special. I would rather have him as a best friend than not have him in my life at all. I honestly love him with all of my heart and I can’t imagine my life without him. I know a lot of people frown upon remaining friends with your ex, but like I said, every situation is different. Sometimes cutting off all ties is for the best. If you found someone who genuinely loves you for who you are, has seen you at your absolute worst, and can still remain friends with you after the breakup, cherish the friendship, they are few and far between.
Have you ever been in this predicament before? Are you still really close with your ex? How long was your relationship? How much time passed before you two were able to become friends? Leave a comment below as well answering the poll to see how many people would or would NOT be friends with their ex!
By: Julie McKee