There are many signs that a relationship has turned sour and like old milk, should be discarded. Most of these signs appear when a relationship has naturally run its course and for whatever reason, did not withstand the test of time. Sometimes interest simply wanes and you know longer find each other as attractive or as interesting as you once thought you did. Maybe you suddenly realize your partner acts like a jerk a majority of the time and the line between using you like “Rosemary’s Baby” and depending on you like “The Godfather” becomes harder to decipher. These are the easy signs. The bread’s gone stale, the milk’s gone sour, the wine has turned, and it’s time to chuck them and move on.
For the sake of the challenge, I’m going to focus on the more difficult situations in which the telltale signs of an overdue breakup aren’t blinking in your face, and yet, you know in your gut that it is time to walk away. It ultimately boils down to timing. Especially at this point in our lives when we are young and just learning to tackle the world and what we want from it, it’s important to at times be selfish in the choices we make and to understand when the people we love should act selfishly too. Far too often, people stay in relationships because they’re comfortable. You fall into a routine, you get accustomed to having your “person” to say good night or good morning to, to share leftovers with, to watch Netflix and actually chill with, and it is simply easier to be together than to be alone. This is not living. This is existing.
Notable German poet Rainer Maria Rilke once articulated his perspective of a good marriage as “one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude.” I believe it is safe to say this applies to all relationships. If at any point, it seems that one of you may be holding the other back from accomplishing his or her own personal aspirations, it’s time to let go. Try not to be the anchor and don’t let yourself be anchored no matter how strongly you feel for this person. Recognize that this may happen and don’t allow it to foster resentment and regret. If the connection you have found and built on is truly strong enough, then why shouldn’t you be able to rekindle those sparks when the timing is better for the both of you? Letting go is hard, but holding someone down will haunt you and letting yourself be held down is just plain stupid. Be the guardian of your own solitude and love will no doubt follow your strength of heart. So if you’re a Rose out there, pry Jack’s frozen fingers lose and let him sink; you’ve got some living to do.
Are you in a relationship that fits the characteristics of what was mentioned? Do you just feel ‘comfortable’ in your relationship? Have you been in this predicament before? Leave a comment below with your thoughts on this topic! Also, if you are in need of any advice on this matter or anything else but would rather ask in private, please email us firstname.lastname@example.org. We are here to help!
By: Kayla Halsey